Chapter 202
ASHAL
Skylar has been admiring an artwork in the presidential suite of our most expensive hotel while I sit in silence watching her, unsure how to kick off the tranche of questions floating in my head.
“This is…nice.” She turns to me and folds her arms across her chest. “You four have always had it…nice.” Her eyes sweep the opulent décor, everywhere except my face. The wandering eyes and forced idle talk indicate she’s just as uncomfortable talking about our father as I am. I lurch to my feet and jam my hands in my pocket. Something about the arch of my back and my serious face tells her I’m over her stalling.
“You are not going to ask me where I have been because you already know, don’t you p>
I say nothing, but continue to watch her.
“You didn’t tell them about dad, did you?” Her eyebrows arch curiously. “You haven’t told them about your call with dad p>
“I didn’t call anyone. My therapist did p>
“Yeah, maybe. But you didn’t end the call either when father spoke.” When I pin her with a surprised look, she shrugs. “I was visiting him and our grandpa in Fuxton as you know. I happened to be there when he took the call p>
I try not to regret not asking father the questions that have run through my head for years. And right now, I try even harder not to look desperate for the answers even though I am itching to ask Skylar the same questions.
“Don’t fight it. Just ask.” Her face has lost the smugness and now emits a somber hue. “Jesus, just ask the question for goodness’ sake p>
I inhale sharply. “How long has he been watching us p>
The silent grit of teeth is proof she hates my question. “For as long as I can remember.” She shuffles to a new painting, strokes the jagged edges absentmindedly. Her eyes are not entranced by it anymore. She just doesn’t want me to read her face while she talks about something that was hard for her to accept as a child.
“Sometimes I wonder if he married her because he liked her or because he found out she was your therapist.” Her hands drop listlessly to her side. “He’s always watched every clip of the Danvarr quads, read every article, saved pictures and videos that he would go through every night before bed, like he needed to be reminded what you all looked like.” She turns to me with a faux smile. “He even has a whole room in his house dedicated to shelving your accomplishments, from tiny trophies to commemorate little wins in middle school to award plaques for every position you all have ever held p>
“Why? Why did he never come for us p>
“Didn’t look like you boys were missing anything in your lives, Ashal. You all didn’t even know you were adopted until recently. Would you have been receptive to the news if a stranger showed up to tell you horrible things about the only parents you’ve ever known and loved?” When I look away, she adds. “Exactly p>
“Dr. Welsh had no right to tell him my story p>
“She didn’t. She’s not ethically permitted to share that with anyone without your consent, but he found a way to get into her reports. She was livid when she discovered he had lied about his stark resemblance with you boys. She was shocked that he was your biological father. They almost divorced. Eventually, she settled for a separation to think things through. They’ve been living separately for years now p>
“Why did she want me to speak to him p>
“Because she has a penchant for doing whatever it takes to help her clients heal faster, even if it’s uncomfortable for her. That call she placed to dad was the first time she called him since their separation, and it was to have you talk with him p>
I don’t know how to feel about any of this. My biological father knew all about my struggles this whole time. He’s been close. He obviously cares or he wouldn’t pay attention to every little thing my brothers and I have ever done. I bet he knows about my secret life too. Yet, he’s been comfortable in the shadows? Why? Is he afraid of Brett Rollins because of the past?
I run a hand through my hair and sigh deeply.
“He knows everything, doesn’t he? Dr. Welsh can’t be his only spy around us. If he used her to know about me, which people are watching my brothers for him?” I turn sharply to Skylar. “I know you’ve been watching him while he’s been watching us. It hurt you to feel invisible even though you were present in his life and we were not. Trust me, I grew up feeling that way amongst my brothers because our father was wary of my condition p>
“It’s not the same p>
“I know. I have no intention of trivializing your feelings. All I am just saying is that they’re very valid and I know a hint of that pain p>
Her face lights up at the acknowledgement. “Thank you…for that.” An awkward silence lulls between us before she speaks again. “For Ashton, it’s Gris. For Asher, it’s one of your oldest serving bodyguards, not sure whom. For Ashley, it’s a secret pen pal he’s been anonymously chatting with online for years now, sharing intricate details he isn’t confident telling you guys about his trauma or his feelings p>
“Ashley has a pen pal p>
“And Ashton has a tattoo of the date of the shopping mall accident aka Demi’s birthday along his pelvic bone where none of you can see. Shocker. Each one of you has your own secret from the quad. Are you really surprised, Ashal p>
“I am more surprised at how much you know p>
She shrugs lazily. “Well, I guess it’s a family thing p>
She sinks into a sofa and crosses her legs. “Now, it’s my turn to ask the questions.” Her eyes dim with seriousness. “Why are you still pretending not to know the new editor of Billion-Err even after an article was written about ME p>
“What? Demi lost her memories? How’d that happen p>
“The details can wait.” Asher utters, trying frantically to get a hold of someone on the phone. Gnashing his teeth, he gives up. “That punk Iman isn’t taking my calls. He’s toying with me.” He gripes, pouring himself a drink p>
“Calm down p>
“I’m calm.” He responds instantly. “Now, tell me. Where was Skylar and what else did she say to you p>
“She was with…her dad and grandfather…in Fuxton p>
Time seems to slow down for Asher as he drops both the bottle and the glass on the table. His face is mired in confusion and shock.
“She’s ready to tell us the unabridged version of everything that happened while we were babies. I don’t think it will be different from what Cree already told us but it will definitely be more visceral and detailed.” Asher remains lost in thought. “Asher, are you with me buddy p>
He blinks and rubs the corner of his eyes. “Fuxton p>
“What p>
“Are you sure she said Fuxton p>
“Yes, I am. Why? Does it ring a bell p>
Asher sighs. “I’ve been on a couple of business trips to Fuxton over the years and each time I go there, I get um, a handwritten note and a gift basket from a loyal fan. Every time, Ashal, no matter what hotel I’m staying at or how quietly I slip into the state. It always finds me p>
“What does the note say p>
“It calls me by my name and goes on to appreciate me for the milestones I have achieved, the work I have been doing at the HQ which I sometimes felt unappreciated for. It even thanks me for being a rock to my brothers.” He takes a sip of the drink. “The weird thing is how detailed it is, like it was sent by someone close to me who knew the work I was putting in. I always assumed it was father’s way of appreciating me in secret despite his indifference at work or at home. It literally said EVERYTHING I hoped to hear from his lips each time I go the extra mile to please him with work or keeping our family together. I looked forward to the letters every time I visited Fuxton. I literally felt a different kind of father’s love because of them. I didn’t tell you guys but that’s why I managed to put up with him no matter what he did, because I felt there was a sweet side to him you all hadn’t met yet p>
So, this is Asher’s own secret? I wonder silently.
He leaps to his feet and runs both hands on his face. “Is it possible that those letters were never from Brett Rollins but from p>
“Dean Sawyer.” I finish for him, looking up at his face. “Our biological father p>
“Say what now?” Ashley chimes from the doorway, mirroring the same shocked expression as Ashton who is standing next to him.
In few minutes, I fill them in on most of what Skylar had said.
“So, he’s been with us, even though he was never with us?” Ashley asks, perplexed. Asher is teetering between pissed and disappointed but I am not sure which father those feelings are directed to. Ashton seems intrigued. At least their feelings are clear. I honestly don’t know where I stand. Indifferent?
“Yeah, I guess you can say that.” I reply Ashley.
“Gris?” Ashton chuckles. “I can’t be mad. Gris is more than my employee. He’s a good friend and the reason my company’s financial statements look impressive. I would be a shitty CEO if I didn’t have him covering my ass.” His face hardens. “But that is hardly a good substitute for the fatherly love I pined for whenever Brett fell short.” He locks eyes with me. “I’d like to hear Dean’s defense for that p>
Ashley clears his throat after what seems like a somber reflection. “I have to tell you guys something.” His eyes are despondent now. “I came really close to ending it once p>
We all gape at him in shock while his eyes dip to the floor in shame.
“I…uh, I couldn’t take it anymore. The nightmares. The breakup with Nikki and the resulting public backlash. My brand image almost being tarnished. I felt like I couldn’t survive it and that none of you could understand. You mostly called it a phase and felt like yelling at me to snap out of it was the best way. It hurt more. One night, I told a pen pal I had been chatting anonymously with, everything, including my plan to end my life before dawn p>
Asher breathes heavily at that last statement and asks. “What happened p>
“He called me for the first time that night. I was too emotional to ask the right questions like how he got my phone number. He stayed on the line till morning. He sounded about father’s age with a soothing voice that lulled me to sleep afterward. He said all the right things and by morning, I felt less suicidal.” Ashley wrings his hands and blinks away the blurriness in his eyes. “Since then, I go to him whenever anything bothers me and I know for a fact that I feel someone truly gets me. He never fails to make me feel much better after every call p>
“Call? You guys have been talking p>
“Yeah.” Ashley answers Asher. “I’m sorry I couldn’t confide in you guys. I wanted it to be MY thing for once, since we already share too much as quads p>
“You think your pen pal is Dean Sawyer?” I ask him.
Ashley smiles. “The dude’s name is Dean. Take a guess p>
Asher rubs his shoulder reassuringly. “It’s okay. I’m glad you didn’t end your life. We all are, and if Dean Sawyer averted that, then I thank him for it.” He pulls Ashley up for a hug. “I’m sorry. I really thought I was there for you, for all of you but I came dangerously close to losing you p>
“I’m stronger now. Suicide will never be an option again.” Ashley promises.
“I’ll hold you to that.” Asher eases back as they take their seats again.
I steal a surreptitious glance at Ashton but he clocks it.
“What p>
“Are you going to show us the tattoo p>
“SHOW YOU?” His face is hilarious even though I meant that as a joke. “Have you gone nuts p>
“C’mon. I held your tiny weenie once while you peed when we were five. It couldn’t have gotten much bigger than that” Asher blurts out before we laugh loudly. Ashton rolls his eyes till we catch our breath. “Seriously, a sneak peek p>
“SHUT UP, ASHER p>
“Okay. Jokes aside. When did you get it?” I ask seriously.
“Three months after the accident, I guess.” He draws a long breath. “I blamed myself for their death and I was afraid I’d forget the date as the years go by. I felt the least I could do was remember Camille and her husband.” The sadness that engulfs the room licks up every last bit of humor on our faces. “I knew we had a code for not doing anything that would make us differentiable so I had it tattooed down there to preserve our identicality p>
“Has Demi seen it?” Asher asks.
“Not yet. Aside from it being written in small letters, it’s usually dark whenever Demi and I He trails off and glances at Ashley who shrugs.
“We get it.” Ashley nods his head. “What are the odds that it also happens to be her birthday. Damn, you two are indeed fated for each other.” He appears surprised when Ashton’s demeanor worsens. “What? That was supposed to be a compliment p>
That’s when I realize he’s the only one in the dark about Demi’s current condition.
“Ashley” Asher calls him lightly. “Demi had an accident and has currently lost some of her memories p>
His shock is palpable. “What p>
“Yeah.” Asher pats Ashton’s shoulder in consolation. “She will remember, Ash. Fate has a way of bringing you two back together somehow p>
We all take a moment to sit in our feelings about the depressing state of things: Demi’s amnesia, the truth about our adoption and how we are going to resolve them. Even Asher is out of ideas.
“Let’s deal with one crisis at a time.” Asher breaks the silence. “Starting with Skylar. We have to kill the Billion-Err article about her before people believe it p>
“That’s okay. I’ll handle it p>
They all turn their piercing eyes to me in surprise. I guess it’s my turn to give up my little secret. With a gust of air, I explain.
“I…uh, I know who the new editor for Billion-Err is p>