Chapter 205
ASHER
After the last of my suitcase is wheeled and deposited inside my suite, I tip the porter before shutting my door.
With a long sigh, I take in the view of my room. It’s a little beneath my taste but I don’t mind. I’m not here to relax or work. I’m just here to prove a theory, or at the very least, that’s what I’ve managed to convince myself.
I am here in Fuxton to try and meet with Dean Sawyer, not because I have been pining for pure fatherly love all my life, but because it’s my duty as the leader of the quads to have these interactions first, form an opinion and then communicate same with my brothers later when we rub minds to decide what to do about the situation.
It just feels weird to me that Dean has already had a lot of interactions with Ashley, and after speaking with Skylar, it appears Ashal got on a call with him too. Ashton gets a pass because he is heavily distracted by Demi’s condition and couldn’t care less about an estranged father.
Me? I don’t care much for a father figure, not anymore. I’ve had sufficient practice with Brett’s parenting skills even though it leaves much to be desired. However, I have unanswered questions that have haunted me since my conversation with my brothers. That is why I am in Fuxton despite not having any work-related business to attend to.
I need to talk to Dean Sawyer and understand what he really wants from my brothers and I. I need to know what happened between him and my adoptive parents and I need to make up my mind on how my brothers and I are going to reopen an old wound.
My doorbell rings, catching my attention. About time, I quip, easing off the window to get the door. If I am right, It’s Dean’s gift basket with a message inside, a message I’m dying to read knowing Dean must already know I am here.
My face hardens as I yank open the door. “What the fuck are you doing here p>
“Language, brother.” Josh coos with a smirk I want to punch right off his face. “Don’t hate the messenger p>
My eyes dart around the hallway. “You followed me p>
“Nah, father was a little suspicious of your weak lie about visiting Fuxton. According to him, it had to be important if you were willing to abandon work. He’d be here himself if he didn’t have to steer the ship so he sent me hoping this could be the start of our bonding era p>
I grit my teeth. “You’re the weak liar, Josh. Your story is so poorly scripted I actually feel embarrassed for you. I only informed one person about my trip and it wasn’t father. So, why don’t you stop wasting my time and tell me exactly why you’re here p>
He tucks his hands in his pockets. “FINE. I followed you. I know for a fact that we don’t have any business dealings in this town, at least not for a while p>
“You don’t know all about my business p>
“Maybe, but my gut is never wrong about these types of things and it tells me that if THE Asher Rollins is willing to abandon work and check into a 4-star hotel in a small town, he’s got something up his sleeves. Contrary to what you might be thinking, I’m not here to rat you out. I just…wanted to help p>
“Help? Help me with what p>
“Oh, c’mon Asher, I’m not so naïve.” When I don’t reply, he rolls his eyes and lowers his voice. “You know very well that I have a bit of experience handling such matters p>
“Josh Randall, you have ten seconds to tell me why I shouldn’t slam my goddamn door in your face!” My eyebrows quirk up when I see a hotel staff turn the corner and head for my room with a gift basket. Shit. It’s here and this buffoon won’t stop yapping and get out of the way.
“You really want me to say it out here, Asher? There are cameras. I would hate for you to end up in the middle of another scandal p>
“What?” I ask Josh, slightly distracted at the approaching lady.
“Just tell me her name and how far along she is, and I’ll handle everything. I know you don’t trust me but I can help make this go away. Everyone makes mistakes, right?” Josh winks at me.
“Mr. Rollins? This was delivered for you.” The soft-spoken staff tells me while handing over the gift basket. Josh’s eyebrows slant up in surprise. I thank the lady and watch her leave.
“Wow. Okay, somebody’s got admirers. Is that the situation p>
“Get the fuck out of my face, Randall. If you haven’t got better things to do with your time, why don’t you proceed with cheating on Nessa like you’re here to do anyway.” His eyes widen in shock to my uttermost pleasure. “Exactly, I know all about YOUR fake business trips but don’t worry, I won’t rat you out to father just yet, unless the deal I am here to make falls through and ruins my mood p>
Josh draws in a sharp breath.
“I suggest you take your whore elsewhere, Josh. Your face is starting to tick my nerves p>
“I’m sure father would understand, Asher. After all, the only reason he stopped getting into my mom’s bed was not because he felt sorry for your mother, but because he was sick of scorching the scandals it raised p>
It takes everything inside me to not grab him by the scruff of his neck and pummel blows into his face. Laughing, he walks away with his proudly squared shoulders.
Alone, I dig inside the gift basket for the envelope. NOTHING.
“Where the fuck is it?” I mutter to myself. There’s always a message inside. Why can’t I find this one?
Minutes later, I am hustling down the stairs with the basket and half-running to the reception since the phone in my room didn’t work.
“Excuse me.” I shut off the excitement blooming on her face at the sight of me. “I just got this package delivered to my room but there seems to be something missing inside. Can you check to make sure I got the right basket and whoever delivered it didn’t accidentally drop something p>
“I’m deeply sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Rollins. I’ll just check.” Her fingers go crazy on her keyboard, clacking as she double checks. “Do you mind telling me what item you think is missing in your basket p>
“An envelop. It contains vital information and I need it p>
“Oh, I can see that two gift baskets were delivered to this hotel twenty minutes ago. I’ll just have someone go up to the other recipient’s room to make sure there wasn’t a swap p>
“I’ll come along p>
She blinks up at my insistence. “Sure, Mr. Rollins. In that case, let me personally handle it. I’ll take you to the room and supervise the exchange if you don’t mind p>
“That’s fine with me p>
She bites her lower lip nervously as I trail after her. On our way to the second floor of the hotel, she continues to apologize for the poor service and assures me that on my next visit, they will strive harder to impress. Half-listening, I keep my eyes on the lookout for the room number we’re headed to. Finally, we get there. She presses the doorbell twice before the guest opens up.
“I deeply apologize for bothering you sir but there seems to be a mix up with the gift basket delivered to your room p>
While she goes on explaining, the stranger and I lock eyes. He has a beanie on and a rich beard but it’s the eyes that give it all away. Because they’re as unique and as mesmerizing as mine. Dean Sawyer!
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I blurt out, disrupting the receptionist who glances at me.
“Thank you, Ms. Josette. Mr. Rollins and I will take it up from here p>
Confused but obedient, the receptionist turns to me for tacit approval. When I nod in alignment with Dean’s statement, she bows before leaving us to sort out the issue.
For a minute, I stand transfixed outside his door. This isn’t how I thought things will go. I thought I had everything planned to a tee. I thought I had my finger on the pulse of this meeting but he beat me to it.
“Would you like to come in, Mr. Rollins p>
The way he pronounces my name so formally feels spiteful more than anything else. Somewhere underneath the ostensible show of respect is a raw disdain that is almost palpable. He pours me a drink in a glass and offers it.
“Ready when you are, Mr. Rollins.” That lilt of mockery irks me again and angrily, I barge in.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Is this what you came back for? After twenty-six years, you think you can just show up and upend our lives? You think we have any use for you? Well, you’re dead wrong and you’re too late p>
“Sit down, Asher p>
“This was a bloody mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here p>
“Yes, you do. You didn’t just chase an envelope to my room; you wanted answers and you’ll get them as soon as you sit down p>
“You don’t know what you’re talking about p>
“Yes, I do. I know you very well Asher and I can prove it if you just SIT YOUR ASS DOWN p>
“Don’t tell me what to do!” I snap at him, wagging a finger in his face. “You’re not my father p>
I might be wrong but something akin to pain flickers in his eyes. Then it disappears so fast it feels like I imagined it.
“You’ve been in control your whole life, haven’t you? From the jump, you were expected to take care of everyone else, to be well-behaved. You weren’t supposed to make silly mistakes like your brothers. It was always your job to put them in check. Yet, there was no one to look out for you like that, right Asher? And even on the days when you wanted to be human and slip up, or have someone cover up your mess, you couldn’t bring yourself to take that break and be…imperfect like everyone else p>
I grind my teeth at him. “Was that your idea of an icebreaker? Really?” I chuckle dryly. “Gosh, I should have let Josh talk my ear off. That would have been a much better waste of my time p>
But when I turn to leave, he ranges himself in my face with pleading eyes.
“Get out of my face!” I growl.
“You’re right. I’m not your father p>
This time, I feel a fleeting twinge of pain over his words and dismiss it just as quickly.
“You might be a spitting image of me but I guess being a father runs deeper than that.” He allows the pain that coats his face linger as he continues. “I’m not here to distort your lives. I’m fine with simply being a part of it. I just want to know my boys…I mean, the Rollins quads beyond the magazine covers and TV commercials p>
For a second, the idea seems alluring, but then it vanishes under the weight of twenty-six long, tough years.
“Like I said, YOU’RE TOO LATE! My brothers and I have enough drama and scandals in our lives to add yours to the fray. Go find another hobby to get you through your mid-life crisis, Dean. I’ll take care of my brothers p>
“You don’t get to make that choice for them, Asher. If you want nothing to do with me, that’s fine. I can understand. However, give your brothers a chance to make up their own minds p>
“MY decision is always tailored towards their best interest p>
“And that makes it okay p>
“Yes! I’ve always done what I felt was right for them. Everything I have done up till this moment has been to protect THEM p>
“That makes two of us, Asher, but isn’t the road to hell paved with good intentions?” He asks quietly. “Can you really stand there and claim that forcing Ashley to cut off from me is going to be in his best interest when our friendship has been one of the strongest reasons why he hasn’t drowned in his pain p>
“Ashley’s still hurting? What the hell are you talking about p>
“You’re a good, big brother Asher, but you can’t do it all. You just have to accept that sometimes, your brothers need more. They need a different listening ear, a different pair of watching eyes, a different voice…sometimes you’re not going to be enough to get them through a tough time, and that’s okay.” He pats my shoulder. “I fear forcing Ashley to stay away from me might make him resent you. Same goes for the rest of your brothers p>
“Well, this isn’t my first rodeo. We will be fine.” On my way to the door, I freeze when he calls me.
“Wait! Please He edges close and grabs an envelope from the breast pocket of his jacket. Caressing it, he slips it into my hand. “This is the last one p>
My heart splinters in two the second he says those words. Am I seriously going to miss how mushy his letters made me feel? Do I really care that deeply about what a stranger thinks of me?
“I also want to be in YOUR life, Asher. If you ever want to grab a drink or just talk, I’ll find you. I’ll tell you everything you need to know. No lies, just…the painful truth.” We lock eyes briefly before I saunter out of his room, slamming the door behind me.
Outside, I inhale sharply. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath for the last few seconds. I glance back at Dean’s door knowing he is standing right behind it and probably pining for my acceptance. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just know that I can’ think straight while I am still at this hotel. I need to get back home and marinate on this conversation.
I slip the envelope into my pocket. Just as I whip out my phone to start making arrangements to go back home, Josh appears in front of me wearing the most serious look I ever saw on his face.
I stifle my shock. “Josh. What are you still doing here p>
He shoots me a sly smile. “I was worried I ruined your mood earlier, so I thought I’d stick around to fix that. Guess I’m not the only one with secrets to spill p>