Chapter 207
DEMI
The room is white. It isn’t hospital-white though, or sterile but simply… white in a very intentional way. The pale cream walls with muted art are almost too calming, as if silence had been painted into the canvas. A candle flickers in the corner, the kind that smelled faintly of cedar and citrus, and meant to make people breathe deeper.
I didn’t.
With my hands tucked in my lap, I sat stiffly in the leather chair, refusing to touch the cup of herbal tea waiting on the side table.
My uncle thinks therapy would “stabilize” me, especially after my examination with doctor Ezra. I just think therapy would be another interrogation but in a softer costume.
I couldn’t bear it. Doctor Ezra’s eyes, the barrage of questions meant to find the gaps in my memory, the palpable weight of hope flickering in Anna’s eyes, Ashton hovering in the hallway with bated breath. It was too much. I felt like a ghost who had somehow inhabited the wrong body and everyone was desperate to exorcize me.
They don’t care about me; they want the old Demi. She means a lot to them. Ashton wants his girlfriend back. Anna wants her best friend who didn’t eye her with suspicion every two minutes. Uncle Marcel? I guess he’s more concerned about me still being able to draw breath. That’s why I agreed to his ludicrous idea to see a therapist, partly to get away from the overbearing expectations choking me.
But right now, I doubt a therapist would offer me anything different from what I am running from.
The woman across from me doesn’t look like the enemy, though. Dr. Leona Grey has kind eyes. There are streaks of silver in her hair and soft lines at the edges of her mouth. But her gaze is sharp.
“So,” she says, folding her notebook closed without writing a single word, “are you here because you want to be, or because someone told you to be p>
I smirk without humor. “You already know the answer to that p>
“Then why not say it out loud p>
Her tone isn’t pushing, not really. But it cut. So, I shifted. “Because this feels like a test. And I am not comfortable being graded right now p>
She gives me a small smile. “Good. Then we won’t grade. We’ll only talk p>
Talk? As if words can sand down the jagged edges of my throat. For a long time, neither of us speaks. Her silence is different from mine. While mine is an armor to protect myself from something I can’t quite label, hers feels more like… patience. The kind that waits for her clients to run out of walls.
Finally, she says to me, “You don’t have to rush to remember p>
The words hit harder than I want to admit. My shoulders stiffen. “Everyone else thinks I should. They keep looking at me like I’m a puzzle missing a very important piece. Like I’m broken and not enough until I get my memory back p>
“And who says you owe them that p>
That startles me. I blink at her as she leans forward slightly. “You don’t need to rebuild a stranger just because other people are mourning her. You can decide who you want to be now, Demi p>
Her response is dangerous, but so comforting it terrifies me to let it sink.
“What if the person I want to be doesn’t fit with the life I had before?” I ask, before I can stop myself. “What if my loved ones don’t WANT this new version of me, but the old one they think is lost somewhere in my head p>
“What if the life you had before wasn’t meant to last?” She throws back at me. “What if you choose to rebrand yourself instead of becoming the woman they want at the expense of your happiness?” She quirks a brow at me. “You don’t want to remember but you feel pressured to, don’t you p>
Her words hang in the air like smoke. I shift uncomfortably, aiming for casual. “I thought we agreed not to grade me p>
“I’m not. I’m trying to help you navigate this in the best possible way, for your interest, Demi. I’m not being paid to restore you to your old self if that’s not something you want p>
“Why p>
“Because that little conflict within you won’t help your recovery. I believe my job here is to help you find peace with who you are right now, to embrace it like you want and if somewhere down the line you uncover your lost memories, all the better p>
I let my eyes fasten on her potted plant at the corner of the room, to hide the sting in my eyes. “It sounds so easy when you say it like that p>
“It won’t be easy. I know you’re afraid of letting your loved ones down but Demi, you’re not being selfish for putting yourself first, especially now. You have to be honest with who you want to be and if they truly love you as they claim. that should be enough p>
For the first time, I believe her. I let my wall down so the words can sink in. I am not selfish. I am enough even without my old memories.
But when my wall goes down, my eyes go blur. Pain radiates through the band of my head. The light goes dim as a soft tune wafts in. Alcohol stings my nose. Whiskey to be exact. Then I see his drunken smile, his lips leaning forward to kiss me under the neon light. I am hardly inebriated but I let happen.
“Are you okay p>
I blink at Dr. Leona.
“You spaced out.” She rubs my knees. “Do you want to talk about it p>
Panting, I swallow hard. Did I just recall the night at the blue Cove?
“Demi? Did you remember something p>
“NO!” I reply too fast, then wince with embarrassment. “I mean, I was thinking about something my uncle said.” The lie is glaring but Leona lets it slide. I leap to my feet. “I should go. Thank you for your time p>
Without looking into her knowing eyes, I grab my purse and shuffle out.
I curled into the corner of Anna’s couch, hugging my knees. Pretending to be absorbed in the TV show flashing colors across the screen helps fend off more flashes of my lost memories. The scene at Blue Cove has gone from blurry to technicolor in the time it took me to get home. I have no idea how to feel about it, how to STOP it.
Anna keeps throwing me side glances while she also pretends to be invested in the TV show. Today, I wish she didn’t take such a leave off work through Ashton’s connection. If there was ever a time where I wanted to be alone to process my thoughts, this would be the most ideal.
“So,” Anna ventures, finally breaking the silence, “How was your first session? You bolted out of there and said nothing to me the entire ride back p>
I tightened my grip around my legs, chin pressing into denim as the faintest image of my room in the Rollins mansion begins to take form. The memory claws at me. Yeah, therapy had been raw and I wasn’t ready to peel those layers back again. However, it seems easier to do that with Anna than let myself be assaulted with memories of a life I don’t want to remember.
“It was fine,” I lied, offering a half-smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “Dr. Leona was…kind p>
Anna doesn’t push, though I can feel her suspicion humming between us like static. Before she can continue the small talk, the front door opens and my uncle emerged.
“Demi p>
I straighten instinctively, seeing the look on his face. Did Leona say something to him? Does he know?
Anna stands, sensing the shift, and slips into the kitchen to give us privacy. Uncle Marcel’s gray eyes pin me where I am seated. His lips finally curl softly as he approaches me.
“How was it with Leona p>
“It was…good p>
“Better than the visit to the doctor p>
A knot unfurls in my belly as I nod softly. That’s when I notice the man slipping into the house behind him. Tall. Broad-shouldered. His suit looks tailored but not stiff. His hair is dark, neatly swept back, and his jaw carries that careless stubble that made a man look like he didn’t need to try.
“Uncle I stutter, gaping at the stranger. Smiling, my uncle ushers the stranger further into the house. Anna appears at the doorway, equally shocked to see the man in the room. When I turn to my uncle, there’s nothing left of the small smile on his face. It’s all serious now.
“I’ve made a decision.” he said, cutting straight into it. “There’s a lot about your present condition that makes no sense to me. I already made the mistake of leaving you to Elizabeth’s care years back. Now, I understand you’re an adult and capable of making your own decisions. However, they haven’t always been the best. If you respect me as your beloved uncle who truly wants the best for you, you’d understand why I am doing this and trust my decision p>
My stomach drops. “Uncle, I don’t want p>
“This is no longer about what you want, Demi. I’m sorry but I have to make sure you’re protected.,” he interrupts me. “I know you’ve got good people around you but there’s no telling how many enemies are out there trying to hurt you especially given your connection to the Rollins family. Your accident could have been one of such attempts for all we know! I CAN’T LEAVE YOU BY YOURSELF HERE. I CAN’T TRUST ANYONE ELSE TO DESIRE YOUR SAFETY AS MUCH AS I DO p>
His paranoia is understandable. Still, I can’t shake off the unease that comes with having another stranger in my life. I’ve got enough as it is.
With the faintest of nods from my uncle, the stranger edges forward like he knows exactly what effect he has on people.
“Demi, this is Lucien Veyra. He’s a private investigator who also doubles as a bodyguard. Lucien, my niece, Demi p>
“Señorita,” Lucien quips, his voice carrying the faintest Spanish accent; soft yet deliberate. “I’ve heard much about you p>
I go stiff but refuse to look impressed by his charm. “I can’t say the same p>
Lucien’s lips quirk in something between a smirk and a challenge. “There’s time yet to change that p>
Before I can mentally decide how I felt about him and this sudden decision, a car pulls up in front of the apartment. Instinctively, I only expect one person to come through the door. My pulse spikes but not out of excitement or hope. Eyes brimming with mental overwhelm, I grab my uncle’s hands.
“I appreciate your concern and I know how much you love me. I just don’t think this is The air goes still with Ashton’s entrance. Oh God, I can tell it’s him just from the eyes and the danger swirling in them. When did it become so easy to recognize those bluish orbs with one eye contact?
His eyes burn as they drop to my hands. When I follow them, my throat tightens. I am holding Lucien’s hands, not my uncle’s! Worse still, I don’t drop them fast enough due to shock. His eyes lock onto Lucien instantly. The shift in his posture is both predatory and protective.
To everyone’s surprise, he steps in and merely shakes my uncle’s hand.
“Hey Ashton. We weren’t expecting you p>
He flashes an easy smile at me. “I am worried about her. Can’t help it p>
An awkward second passes before my uncle hastens to introduce Lucien.
“You didn’t have to go through the expense, sir. If Demi needs a bodyguard, I’m more than happy to hire one p>
“I appreciate your generosity but some responsibilities can’t be delegated. I am like a father to Demi and I feel it’s my duty to ensure she’s safe. Lucien is the son of a good friend of mine. He isn’t charging me for any of this p>
“So, he opted to follow her around for free, huh p>
“To keep her safe is more like it.” Lucien corrects calmly.
Ashton tilts his head, studying Lucien like a chess piece he expected to move sooner than later. “Your devotion is admirable but highly unnecessary.” Then turning to my uncle with hands fisted in his pockets. “You’re right. You’re responsible for Demi. I know how her condition must hurt you.” His eyes track towards me, settling briefly. “Everyone who loves her shares that pain. I am prepared to respect your decision. I simply ask that you don’t treat me like a stranger or leave me out of decisions like this p>
“Respectfully, Ashton Rollins, ” Uncle replies grimly, “Lucien isn’t here as competition p>
“I don’t need anyone watching me,” I mutter before things can get more awkward. Then I cross my arms and let my eyes drift over each man in the room. “I don’t appreciate you all treating me like a porcelain doll. I can take care of myself p>
Unconvinced, uncle continues. “Lucien, please clarify your position once more to them p>
Lucien’s eyes flick to me “I’m not a typical bodyguard. I don’t shadow people. I mostly find answers and keep them safe while I do.” He turns to Ashton. “Think of me as someone who worries about what she doesn’t see coming. No more, no less p>
Ashton quirks a brow. “So…bodyguard. Got it p>
The jab, though subtle, simmered in the air.
Lucien, to his credit, doesn’t rise to it. He simply nods once with a small smile. Despite my best effort to dissuade my uncle about his decision, he insists on keeping Lucien around. I swear it feels like his paranoia goes beyond the Rollins family.
“Listen to her.” Ashton implores him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to plant strangers in her life at this critical time, especially given how uncomfortable it makes her p>
“To be fair, I’m not the only stranger who makes her uncomfortable p>
The second he utters those words-despite how true they are- I wish he hadn’t. I guess being the bigger person only lasted five seconds for Lucien. I press my eyes shut as a hazy image of Ashton punching Iman inside Rahl’s bookstore fleets across my mind.
Ashton takes a step forward. “What was that p>
“Enough,” my uncle’s voice cut through the tension. He turns to me and gently grabs my shoulders. “I’m putting my foot down here, Demi. It’s either Lucien protects you or you come home with me. Those are your options so you decide which one it’s going to be p>
The room falls deathly silent as everyone stares at me. I feel my chest tightening.
Ashton’s fury simmers inches from boiling over. With his jaw clenched, he flexes his fists at his sides. His eyes bore into mine, waiting for me to speak, but not to choose. I bet that’s what the old Demi would do. She would stand her ground and do anything to stay close to her one true love.
Though his protectiveness is familiar and comforting in a way, I am too scared to let myself depend on it, too scared of giving in to the old Demi as it implies losing my chance to start over. So, I did what felt right for me.
Turning to my uncle, I let out a short breath. “I’ll get packing p>