Chapter 121
Chapter 121
66 – Ryker
She shifts slightly and pats the empty spot beside her. The moment she does, a surge of panic rushes through me. Can I really do this-sit this close to her and keep my hands to myself? My wolf is restless, demanding more than just proximity. We have to take this slowly, for both our sakes. What if I’m too rough and end up hurting her? What if I mess this up so badly that she rejects me again? But then, maybe what we share now is better-safer. I’m used to fighting packs of wolves, tearing out throats, spilling blood without hesitation to protect my own. Yet here I am, standing at the edge of her bed, about to lie next to my mate, and I feel like I might throw up. My breath catches. I rub my palms on my shorts, hoping she doesn’t notice my trembling.
“Is this okay?” I ask, reaching for the blanket, trying to sound steady and confident.
She nods softly. “I think so. Does this work for you? I just thought, if I can sleep well with my Alpha close, then it shouldn’t be any different for you. But if you don’t want to Her voice trails off as she looks down at her lap, uncertainty flickering in her eyes.
“Stop right there.” I close my eyes and take a slow, deep breath. At this rate, I’m going to hyperventilate. That sounded harsher than I intended, but I need her to understand—I’m not distracted, not thinking of anyone else. I inhale again, steadying myself. Time to be honest. “I want to, really. It’s just… I don’t know how to do this p>
She arches an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by my cluelessness. “Go to… sleep?” Her tone is dripping with amusement, like I’m an idiot.
“No, no. I mean this.” I gesture between us, standing awkwardly by her bed. “I’ve never done this before. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do p>
She smirks. “Well, you have to get in the bed first.” She tosses the blanket aside, and I nearly choke, coughing as my throat tightens.
How could I forget? Earlier, when I helped her to bed, I took off her jeans so she’d be comfortable. That was the only thought on my mind, but now, faced with her bare legs stretched out invitingly, I’m torn between regret and desire. Her skin looks so soft, so tempting. I want to trace every curve, memorize every inch with my hands.
“Okay… maybe this is a mistake.” She starts pulling the covers back over herself. I have no idea how long I’ve been standing there, frozen and staring, trying to regain control, and now she thinks I don’t want this. I’ve hurt her again. Damn it! Why can’t I ever get this right?
“Wait! Just give me a second.” After a few more coughs, I manage to speak without sounding like a wreck. “I wasn’t ready for that. Sorry. You always catch me off guard. I just… I need to take it slow. Is that okay? Can we go really, really slowly p>
She nods, and I flex my hands a few times, willing myself to calm down. I can do this.
I sit on the edge of the bed, my heart pounding. “Can you tell me why you need slow?” Her voice is soft, almost tender. I’ve never heard her speak to me like this before, and I want to listen forever. Fresh chapters posted on ~net
“I told you, I’ve never done this before.” She exhales deeply and leans back against the headboard, stretching her legs out in front of her.
“You do realize that means absolutely nothing to me, right?” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
“It’s hard to explain. And right now, I’m trying really hard not to touch you. Can we just sit like this for a while p>
“You want to lie next to me and not touch me? That’s not comforting at all.” She looks at me, eyes searching. “You know that, right? Is there somewhere else you’d rather be? Someone you don’t want smelling my scent on you p>
My head jerks toward her, surprised by the sudden intensity in her gaze. “Fuck no p>
“Then what’s your problem? Why is it so difficult for you to be close to me? Why won’t you touch me? Why are you being so cryptic p>
I rub my face with my hands, overwhelmed by the conflicting feelings her scent stirs inside me. It calms me and ignites me at the same time, leaving my mind in chaos. “If I touch you, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself p>